Wicked Game (cover)
veni vidi amavi
Carolyn. 30s. She/Her. I came. I saw. I loved.

It is 1880s America, you are about to spawn as a Historically Significant White Guy. Choose a class:

TROUBLEMAKING FRONTIER PREACHER

  • Special Power: Good Christian. Your vague adherence to American protestantism will ensure that law enforcement does not bother you whatsoever.
  • Victory condition: Fuck enough of your followers wives to start an inbred theofascist micronation.

MANICALLY AMBITIOUS CON ARTIST

  • Special Power: Basic Literacy. You're poor, but you know how to read. They'll never expect it. You may forge literally any document and it will be believed 100% of the time.
  • Victory Condition: Steal enough money to fuck off to Latin America. A Spanish speaking nation might as well be the moon to your debtors.

EUROPEAN NOBLE FAILSON

  • Special Power: Colonial Wealth. Your funny accent, foppish dress, and noble title, will make any American think you are totally good to buy it on credit.
  • Victory Condition: Become the boytoy to the wife of some borderline-gangster politician and save up enough political capital to run for office and get addicted to opium.

DOOMED FRONTIER EXPLORER

  • Special Power: How The Fuck Are You Alive. Your freakish diet of pork, whiskey, and maple syrup, makes you entirely immune to all physical injury and disease. Somehow.
  • Victory Condition: You have one mission, and one mission only. You need to piss off some completely friendly natives. You need to piss them off so bad they leave your stupid ass to starve in a food forest they've been cultivating for literally thousands of years.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/

I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful

if you're not from the us american south, there's some amazing nuances to this you may have missed. i can't really describe all of them, because i've lived here my whole life and a lot of the body language is sort of a native tongue thing. the body language is its own language, and i am not so great at teaching language. i do know i instinctively sucked on my lower teeth at the same time as he did, and when he scratched the side of his face, i was ready to take up fucking arms with him.

but y'all. the way he said "brutus is an honourable man" - each and every time it changed just a little. it was the full condemnation Shakespeare wanted it to be. it started off slightly mock sincere. barely trying to cover the sarcasm. by the end...it wasn't a threat, it was a promise.

christ, he's good.

the eliding of “you all” to “y’all” while still maintaining 2 syllables is a deliberate and brilliant act of violence. “bear with me” said exactly like i’ve heard it at every funeral. the choices of breaking and re-establishing of eye contact. the balance of rehearsed and improvised tone. A+++ get this man a hollywood contract.

Certified Library Post

caesars assassination but with empty cardboard tubes

Et tube Brute?

Ok now THIS is the stuff I wanted when I followed the Julius Caesar tag and I don’t even get it from there?? Am upset by this betrayal of the tumblr system

literally anything handmade is so dope. idc what it is it could be anything. a quilt, a painting, a basket, a sweater, a wooden table, a shed, a meal. how magical

knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.

knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.

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Andrea Johnson (USA)

"Bluebirds and Persimmons" 2022

gothic horror rlly is just. aw fuck look at what youve done. the house has inherited your inter-generational trauma and in response has transformed itself into a metaphorical device to track the decay of the family. we're never gonna pay off that mortgage now

Heather Hogan: Straight friend: Will you sensitivity read my book for my lesbian best friend character? Me, two weeks later: The lesbian best friend is absolutely perfect. Here's 16 pages of notes detailing the incorrect things you said about Star Trek. Tweet at 5:32 PM on 2/25/24ALT

Tweet by Heather Hogan:

Straight friend: Will you sensitivity read my book for my lesbian best friend character?

Me, two weeks later: The lesbian best friend is absolutely perfect. Here's 16 pages of notes detailing the incorrect things you said about Star Trek.

5:32 PM on 2/25/24

“how is peppermint patty a lesbian if she has a crush on charlie brown” like you don’t know any lesbians who are obsessed with some weird sad little guy

The Kate Middleton mysteries, as channelled by Emery Robin (from here):

spent my lunch break today coming up with ways that the Kate Middleton story would turn out if it were being investigated by various fictional detectives pic.twitter.com/lJOp693Ysd  — Emery Robin (@emwrobin) March 12, 2024ALT
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a triangle chart with three captions, one at each point. the first says "angel rules (you can break the rules, but doing so will have irreversible consequences)". the second, "fae rules (you can't break the rules, but you can exploit any loophole)" and the third "machine/artificial intelligence rules (the rules are encoded in your very being, and to break them requires breaking you)".ALT

been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will

a triangle chart with three captions, one at each point. the first says "angel rules (you can break the rules, but doing so will have irreversible consequences)". the second, "fae rules (you can't break the rules, but you can exploit any loophole)" and the third "machine/artificial intelligence rules (the rules are encoded in your very being, and to break them requires breaking you)".ALT

been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will